The most promising cancer treatments have not worked, and so I find myself face-to-face with my mortality each day . . . All my spiritual understanding and practices have been tested beyond anything I’ve previously experienced…I have been humbled and cracked open emotionally like never before.”
- Riyaz Motan - Spiritual Teacher
On Saturday March 16th, I was sitting at lunch with three dear friends, eager to drop into conversation with them. Our time together has always been so rich and nourishing, but this conversation took a particularly profound turn, as John, Adya and I sat raptly listening to Riyaz - who is living with stage 4 lung cancer - describe cancer as “his greatest spiritual teacher”. I thought, “Someone should record this!”, as it was so clear to me that Riyaz’ message needed to extend beyond our little table of four. I had never heard anybody face death with a such profound trust in life.
And so, I invited Riyaz to an interview/conversation with the same three friends the following month on Zoom. I highly recommend attending LIVE if possible. The transmission from Riyaz is palpable and psychoactive!
Riyaz received dharma transmission from Adyashanti in 2023. He is an astonishingly mature spiritual teacher, and now more so than ever, as cancer has freed and deepened him in ways he never could have imagined. I’ve included below a few excerpts from Riyaz’s writings from his website and CaringBridge posts.
Warmly,
Jonathan Gustin
Picture from our Saturday March 16th lunch - Jonathan Gustin, Adyashanti, Riyaz Motan & John Prendergast
From Riyaz Motan’s Website & CaringBridge Writings:
After 26 years of practicing as a spiritually oriented psychotherapist, supervisor and teacher to students and interns at the California Institute of Integral Studies, I was called to shift away from psychotherapy to a more explicitly spiritual offering. I began joyously dedicating my work to supporting people in discovering their True Nature and essential wholeness through spiritual mentoring and retreats.
In August of 2023 a bomb went off in my life, one that has radically transformed who I am both as a person and as a teacher, and challenged me to crystallize what I am here to offer: I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Today, about a year and half later, I am grateful to be alive.
Unfortunately, the cutting-edge cancer treatments that at first looked promising have failed to work, and chemotherapy reduced me to such a shell of myself that I ultimately have chosen quality of life over the less than promising quantity that chemo could offer me.
The prognosis is not good. The doctors are giving me a handful of months. That said, complete remission (though rare) does sometimes occur, and I’m fully open to that. But, I am not clinging to that. In fact, I feel a deep sense of okay-ness with what is. I can no longer go on even longish walks…and that is okay. I can no longer work - hold retreats, do one-on-one meetings, or facilitate my groups - and that is okay. Though I’m just 58, I’ve been taken into an “early” retirement. And, that is okay. And even the part that feels the hardest to me - the prospect of leaving my wife and son - I’m even okay with the un-okayness of that too.
I am filled with gratitude to still be alive. I am grateful for the ways in which my heart has been broken wide open. I am grateful for the way in which my illusion of certainty has been stripped away, and I have been left with the fierce liberation of “don’t know.”
I can truly say that cancer has become my greatest teacher. By far, the time since my diagnosis has been the most radical time of growth and transformation in my life. I have been humbled and cracked open emotionally like never before. I have been taken to depths and heights previously unseen. All my spiritual understanding and practices have been tested beyond anything I’ve previously experienced.
I now live daily with great uncertainty and my life has become completely revolutionized. I am aware of the preciousness of each day like never before — each one is a gift, not to be taken for granted. I no longer have the “solid ground” of certainty to comfort me. I live with a radical acceptance of impermanence; I relate to my future with this daily mantra: “Don’t know, can’t know, don’t need to know.” The groundless ground of open awareness is my refuge.
Don’t Know, can’t know, don’t Need To Know
with Riyaz Motan
Interview/conversation with Jonathan Gustin, John Prendergast & Adyashanti
What - Don’t Know, Can’t Know, Don’t Need To Know - An Interview with Riyaz Motan
When - Saturday April 12th, 2025. (11am PT, 2pm ET, 7pm CET)
Where - We’ll send you the recording.
Interviewers - Jonathan Gustin, John Prendergast & Adyashanti
Cost - By Donation (This is a fundraiser for Riyaz Motan)
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